On Sunday we heard "husbands love your wives" (Colossians 3:19). In Ephesians 5:25 we're told who that love should be modelled on - the Lord Jesus Christ's love for his bride - the church - that means a self-sacrificial love to the point of death. It's a dying to our interests and putting our wife's interests above our own. It means loving her in a way that she feels loved, there are apparently 5 love languages (find out your love language here!). In brief they are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
One suggestion to help with covering most of these language is a weekly marriage meeting. Someone suggested this should last just 30 minutes and should involve 4 things:
1. Appreciation - tell your husband/wife something that you appreciate about them/something about them or something they've done. (This helps with words of affirmation).
2. Plan for the good times - plan when you're going to see each other that week - book in a date night, a holiday? (This helps with quality time).
3. Discuss the chores! What needs to be done around the house? What isn't getting done? (this helps with acts of service).
4. Discuss any conflict - this is a safe time to bring up the things that are causing conflict in your marriage, discussing them when you are not in the middle of the conflict is a good idea as it will be less heated. Learn to say "Sorry" and "I forgive you".
Keeping the meeting to 30 minutes means you might not get to discuss everything, but meeting every week means you keep on top of things, and you can always agree that you nee to talk more at another time. End on a positive note - perhaps with another word of affirmation?
Some of you have been married far longer than I have, what's helped you? Feel free to share anything helpful!
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